Are you floundering upstream on a cul-de-sac from your destiny? ..or.. catching tuna daily from the ocean of life off the information superhighway of best-of-me?
Do you have yo mojo?.. or do you need to go fo yo mornin' jo to start da flo of yo mo, Joe? Or are you named 'Thad' and strikingly less rhythmic?
Are you 'playing the game of life in a rut?' ..or.. 'having a ball taking a cut at a putt with a babe with a butt on a hole with a view and she's even got virtually no IQ?
If your response to any of the above was:
- "This reminds me, son.. everyone should have access to health care."
- Go Class of 2011! Twitter & Lack of Contact with Nature ROCK!!
- "Is he lost in Tom Cruise's brain, Mommy?"
Hello. I am WittyGuy, and I'm incredibly charismatic and even more unknowingly humble. You'll probably find everything I say to be increasingly ironic, even the things I say first. And every thought is ORIGINAL.. or by someone with a less expensive lawyer. I could count to a MILLION.. and never think the same thought twice. Sure, I have my weaknesses ..although I don't consider drinking Dos Equis one of them.
I am a successful life coach and the world's leading masculinity advisor. I don't 'inspire', I 'Winspire'. I'm not a 'innovator', I'm a 'Winnovator'. I'm not 'awful & pray ill on ma foe', I'm a .. uh.. 'Waffle & Weigh Willem Dafoe'??
I'm also very good with women. When I open my mouth, panties go south. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but a silver tongue that leads to spooning. Other guys developed in the womb. I developed in the pith.
Most men flirt. I conduct a concert. (yeah, I'm not done yet.) Nearly every sentence ends with a standing ovation. And it's likely the same even when I'm NOT talking to myself. I once wrote an essay so witty and eloquent, it emitted Grade-A honey whenever it was read. A friend of mine then hired a bunch of stutterers and went into business. [Too bad they were answering 911 calls and NOT in the honey business. Bang! Bang!]
Two years ago I was making $90k/year, had a fast car, and a hot girlfriend. Today, I'm unemployed and losing weight mysteriously. However, women still abound. This site puts you on a path more like I'm on.
Most 'self-help' or 'motivational' sites teach how to succeed at life assuming you will THEN attract the right lady. "Build it and they will come" is their philosophy. At WittyGuy, we're confident that any goal you have grandiose enough to require real planning will also provide you sufficient time to thoroughly screw it up, so we focus less on the building and more on the coming. [Anyone got a problem with that?]
They say 'A Great Woman is Behind Every Great Man.' Well, if THAT is the reward for greatness I'd rather stop at good and then get BEHIND HER as she passes by. Considering her ambitions you know she'll be consistently forward-looking and also have 'her nose to the grindstone'. WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK FOR? Then, each time she has a success, you can celebrate with her: 'Bottoms Up!'
At WittyGuy.com, you'll learn how you can achieve many of your medium-sized goals with a steady diet of my revolutionary 'now-KAPOW!' along with a daily serving of 'vision-COLLISION'!
This is NOT to suggest this is the recommended solution to all life problems. This is the recommended solution to all life problems. This is not to suggest results come quickly. You should find the results to be immediate. This is NOT to suggest I'm enjoying banter with the subsequent sentence because I'm lonely. Hey wanna go out Saturday? Yes most definitely, can't wait, got my date now WOOHOO! enjoy the site everyone bye.
$ $ $ $ $
I just made another $1k while
THAT'S CORRECT! All that money BEFORE
sitting here in my lawn chair
anyone concluded "It's been long enough
now that.. I think that's simply
what he's looking at."